We are living in the era of relationships and yet our connection to each other could not be worse on so many levels. Our communities have become sick. The viruses of hatred, suspicion, competition, and disengagement have become endemic.  We are learning that our neurons live in networks, that our brain is an ecology, like a garden where if one plant dies, the rest of the garden adapts to keep the brain alive. But outside in our environment, we are losing animal and plant species at unprecedented levels, watching millions of people displaced or injured, and we are turning a blind eye to the suffering of others.

Our society is sick, and it is not a sickness that can be cured with a pill. It needs all of us everywhere on this planet to come together and build healthy relationships and thriving communities where we take care of our neighbors at a local as well as global level. We know how to do this. We are doing it everyday in our lives when a hurricane, floods, or fires strike a part of our world. At the ground level, we know how to offer comfort, safety, and support; and share what we have. 

I just spent a week in Montana and experienced this first-hand at the airport, grocery store, and local diner. When we don’t ask about each other’s politics, we are kind and caring to each other despite our differences. Every single person I met in Montana wished me well, wanted me to be comfortable, and made an effort to connect with me. Not one person asked me which TV channel I watch for my news, or who I was going to vote for. Not one person argued with me about the presidential elections. 

When there was a momentary comment in that direction, it was so clear that we are all in pain, disappointed, fearful, and just wanting our country and our loved ones to be safe. And yet when we go home to our television sets, behind closed doors, or in hushed conversations, we believe the most hateful, divisive rhetoric. We forget that the people the TV pundits are railing about are just like the sweet woman we met at the grocery store or the person who came at a moment’s notice and fixed the leaky toilet. 

We already know how to be in relationship. This great country was built on such relationships between diverse people working together every single day; connecting, caring for, and creating great things; because we knew the power of shared goals, joint labor, and mutual success.  We depended on each other and everyone was better for it.. 

We already know how to build and preserve relationships. We have lost our confidence and our trust in ourselves and our neighbors. We desperately need to remember who we have been, how we got here, and what we can accomplish if we honor and celebrate our diverse histories but our shared destiny.

As I flew home on July 4th, I looked down from the plane and saw bursts of fireworks.  I imagined families gathering for picnics, communities coming together for fireworks, and large groups of diverse people spending an evening listening to music together.  I wish we could cement this moment in our hearts. We already know how to relate to one another.  We do it all the time. Let’s use that powerful force to rebuild this fragmented nation without hatred and fear but love and compassion in our hearts. Happy July 4th holiday, everyone!

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